Ape Attacks My Stocking Tops – Ariel Anderssen Studio

I am so excited! I’ve been a TV presenter for months and months with the most BORING jobs and finally I get to interview PIERRE CARDIN!!!!! This is amazing; it’s going to transform my career! i’ve planned incredibly carefully, and in order to make the interview start off well, I’m going to wear a gorgeous dress that he designed. It’s a little racy cos it’s above the knee, but I’m teaming it with very long tan stockings so that there’s no risk of my stocking tops showing on live TV. I team the sheer nylons with high heels, silk suspender belt and gorgeous patterned pink panties and bra. Obviously no one will see them (AS IF!) but I’ll feel better about myself knowing that I’m dressed as well as is possible! But just then an assistant knocks on the door; WHAT? Pierre Cardin has CANCELLED??? This is a disaster! They tell me they’ve got a replacement for me to interview – some ventriloquist guy with an ape puppet? For God’s sake! I’m a serious journalist. Down in the studio, I meet the ape and the man, and as we go live, I can’t hide my irritation. They’re not really even famous – this is ridiculous. But the ape keeps going for my stockinged legs – he seems fascinated by them. And I can’t have that – no one must see my stocking tops and they CERTAINLY mustn’t see my knickers! I manage to continue the interview but then I make the fatal error of calling Gareth a ‘farm creature’. He suddenly springs at me and latches onto my leg, flipping my skirt up in the process so everyone sees my stocking tops and panties on live TV! I’m furious and shout to the crew to cut the transmission. But they don’t! They all just stand there staring at me like goldfish! I try to escape, but Gareth thinks it’s a game and just chases me, before pouncing at me and tearing my dress off! I’m suddenly on live TV, in a crowded studio, wearing just my underwear and stockings!!! I make a break for it – even being outside would be less humiliating than this. But I can’t open the goddam front door of the studio either! And of course, Gareth and his handler have been pursuing me, still thinking it’s some sort of joke. So they grab my panties and pull them right down. This is INTOLERABLE!!!

Amelia Jane Rutherford, Hywel Phillips

http://212.162.153.174/a065d5a1b2adbb92/Ape_Attacks_My_Stocking_Tops.mp4